Poems from a Woman of a Certain Age

Synopsis:
My cousin contacted me in great excitement: "I have booked a place for you to put poems on the internet!" she said. I was indignant. Doesn't she know I don't write poems? And of course, the next day when I woke up, a poem was in my mind! And still they come, mostly at dawn, in that half awake half asleep state, and they speak of my particular stage of life and my particular situation. Yet friends, reading them insist, "But that's me!"

Status: completed in rough. Wondering if I ought to collect and include poems from other women at this stage of life . . .

Excerpt:
I have led a good life. I have not been ungrateful. Always I knew how blessed I was. But showing gratitude does not protect me from the storms. My husband and beloved friend is ill. At first, the news sends us reeling. Carl sees the strong exterior. But inside is the child and she is afraid.

From Beneath the Blanket

In the face of this pain, the child inside
Huddles beneath the cloak of "normal",
Sitting in the only safe spot she knows.

But one wise heart looks and asks and listens,
Gently urging her to look out from under
One peep at a time.
And several voices promise to walk along beside her,
And a host of others wait along the way, arms outstretched .

Let her hold the blanket for now.
She will drop it when she can.

For a while we are numb. We have absorbed the news with our minds, but not with our hearts. The future is a huge unknown (but wasn't it always so?). We want to play "Let's make a Deal" with the universe.

Making Bargains

I'm ready to bargain now God.
I didn't understand before.
I knew it in my head of course,
But my heart was blind and deaf
and most of all dumb.
And now it wants to make a deal.
"I'll love him better than before
If you will spare him."
All that talk about accepting the bigger picture?
That was just my head, God.. I need you to listen to my heart.